ENGINEERS VS DOCTORS

7 Engineers and 7 Doctors are going from PUNE to Mumbai. So both groups gather at Pune Station.
Both groups are desperately trying to prove their superiority .
SCENE 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI):
------------ --------- --------- -------- ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- - -
7 engineers take only 1 Ticket and 7 doctors buy all 7 tickets..
Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come......
When TC arrives,
All 7 Engineers get in one toilet so when TC knocks, one hand come out with the ticket and the TC goes

Away.....

NOW on return Journey All of them don't get a direct Train to PUNE. So they all decide to take a Passenger till Lonavala, from there they can easily get a LOCAL to PUNE



SCENE 2 (MUMBAI - LONAVALA):
------------ --------- --------- ---- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ - -----------
Doctors decided, "this time we will prove that we too are equal"....All 7 Doctors take 1 Ticket Engineers don't buy any ticket at all!!!!!..

TC arrives....

ALL DOCTORS IN ONE TOILET.ALL ENGINEERS IN THE OPPOSITE.

One engineer gets out and knocks the door of Doctors toilet, One hand comes with the tickets, he takes the
ticket and comes in Engg. Bathroo! m... TC DRIVES out ALL the doctors from the toilet and they are heavily fined.


SCENE 3 ( LONAVALA): !
------------ --------- --------- --------- --
SO now both the group r on LONAVALA station. Doctors planning their move for last chance, they board the local to Pune.

This time doctors decide that they will play the same (1 ticket) trick.

ALL Doctors take 1 tickets...Engineers BUY all 7 tickets this time...
SO TC Comes.. All Engineers showed their tickets ............ ....... .....

Doctors are still searching for toilet in the LOCAL train....... ....


Conclusion: Technically intelligent people are genius, don't mess with Engineers.

WHAT WONAN WANTS IN A MAN....

Original List:

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

What a woman Wants in a Man, Revised List (age 32)

1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3 Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns a t least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What a woman Wants in a Man, Revised List (age 52)

1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10.Shaves most weekends

What a woman Wants in a Man, Revised List (age 62)

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't retell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10.Shaves some weekends

What a woman Wants in a Man, Revised List (age 72)

1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4 Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10.Remembers that it's the weekend

What a woman Wants in a Man, Revised List (age 82)

1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet.

--

....THE FEMALE....

1.The FEMALE always makes the rules.

2.The RULES are subject to change at any time without prior notification...by the FEMALE.

3.No MALE can possibly know all the RULES.

4.If the FEMALE suspects the MALE knows all the RULES, she must immediately change some or all of them.

5.The FEMALE is never wrong.

6.If the FEMALE is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the MALE did or said wrong.

7.The MALE must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstandings.

8.The FEMALE may change her mind at any time.

9.The MALE must never change his mind without the express written consent of the FEMALE.

10.The FEMALE has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11.The MALE must remain calm at all times, unless the FEMALE wants him to be angry or upset.

12.The FEMALE must, under no circumstances, let the MALE know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

13.The Male is expected to "mind read" at all times.

14.The MALE who doesn't abide by THE RULES; can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp!

15.Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm.

16.The FEMALE is ready when SHE is ready.

17.The MALE must be ready at ALL times

THE TOP 10 REASONS WHY A HANDGUN IS BETTER THEN A WOMEN....

#10 - You can trade an old .44 for two new .22s.

#9 - You can keep one handgun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

#8 - If you admire a friend's handgun, and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7 - Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a backup.

#6 - Your handgun will stay with you even if you're out of ammo.

#5 - A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

#4 - Handguns function normally every day of the month.

#3 - A handgun doesn't ask "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

#2 - A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY THAT A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN . . .
You can buy a silencer for a handgun.

OUR GREATEST SARDRD....

Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

Q: How do you make a sardarji laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

Wife-Oye ji, Sunte Ho,Utho Utho,Raat ke 2 baje he.
Husband- itni rat ko Q...Uthaya Mujhe
Wife-Aap neend ki goli Lena to bhul Hi gaye..!

Santa : "Ek litre gaaye{cow} Ka Dhoodh Dena."
Banta : "Lekin Tumhara Bartan To Bahut Chhota Hai."
Santa :"Theek He To Fir BAKRI Ka De de.."


Interviewer>To bataiye PANI ke bina Insan kaise Marega?
Sardar>PANI nai hoga to Insan Tairega kaise? Aur Tairega nahi to doob jayega!

Friend: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!
Sardar: Wow!!! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!!!

Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world?
Sardar: ZEBRA
Teacher: How?
Sardar: Bcoz it is Black & White


Judge: Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court.
Sardar to judge: U R coming daily, don't U have shame?


Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.


Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.


Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok. Ombay. Ombay"


Why Sardar opens his lunch box in the middle of the road???
Just 2 confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office....


Son: papa, 4+3 kithne hai?
Sardar: ullu ke patthe gadhe idiot naalaayak besharam tujhe kuch nahi aathaa? Jaa andhar se CALCULATOR le ke Aa..


Sardar1: Oye, what will happen if electricity is not discovered?
Sardar2: Nothing, we must watch TV in candle light.



Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?"
Sardar: "All are born on government holidays...!!!


Doctor to sardar patient : Ab aapki tabiyat kaisi hai.
Sardar : Doctor saheb Pehle se zyada kharab ho gayi hai.
Doctor : dawai khali thi kya?
Sardar : Nai doctor saheb. dawai ki shishi to bhari hui thi.
Doctor : Are Sardar ji mere kehne ka matlab hai ki, dawai le li thi kya.
Sardar : Ji, aapne dawai de di thi aur maine le li thi.
Doctor: Abe, dawai pili thi kya?
Sardar : Oho, nai doctor saheb dawai to lal thi.
Doctor : Abe GADHE, Dawai ko piliya tha kya?
Sardar : Nai. Doctor, Piliya to mujhe tha.
Doctor( in frustration) : Abe teri to, Dawai ko muh lagakar Pet me dala tha k nai?
Sardar : Nai doctor saheb.
Doctor : Kyon?
Sardar : Kyonki dhakkan band tha.
Doctor : Teri sale, to Khola kyon nai.
Sardar : Saheb, aapne hi to kaha tha ki, shishi ka dhakkan band rakhna.
Doctor : Tera ilaj main nai kar sakta.

THEY ARE THE STUDENT OF IIT.......

One Night 4 college students were playing till late night and could
not study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.

In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as
dirty with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had
gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car
burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in
no condition to appear for the test.

So the Dean said they could have the re-test after 3 days. They
thanked him and said they would be ready by that time.

On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as
this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate
classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the
last 3 days.

The Test consisted of 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.

See Below for the question Paper


Q.1. Your Name........ ......... ......... (2 MARKS)

Q.2. Which tire burst?

(98 MARKS)

a) Front Left b) Front Right
c) Back Left d) Back Right

ENGINEERS ARE ENGINEER.....

There was a good old barber in Bangalore. One day a Florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies:-

I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am Doing a Community Service. Florist is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.

A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber he again refuses to take the money. The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is another "Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door.

A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there......

A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free.......